Sportsball Protests, the President, and Why You Should Bring Me Beer

You know, I’ve never been much for sportsball. I don’t mind going out and tossing one around every now and again, but I don’t typically watch it without ulterior motive. Usually, that motive is beer. Anywhere three or more people get together to watch a game, there’s at least a 70% chance one of them will bring a case of beer, and I’m more than willing to endure four innings of sportsball in order to snag some free alcohol.

When I’m not getting free beer, however, I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to read about it. And I sure as hell don’t want my Facebook news feed clogged up with angry rants about why this team sucks or why this team is just the bestest thing ever.

Either shut up about sportsball, or give me beer. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, yes.

So sometime last year, some dude named Colin Kaepernick decided to protest racial inequality in America by kneeling during the national anthem. His protest spread like wildfire, and apparently to other sports. It also drummed up a lot of controversy.

To hear Facebook tell it, if you support the protests, you hate America. If you’re against the protests, you’re a racist. And while these guys are shouting at each other, not a single damn one of them gives me beer, so I really can’t be arsed to care.

But now the president has decided to weigh in on things with, er, this:

Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, “Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out. He’s fired. He’s fired!” You know, some owner is going to do that. He’s going to say, “That guy that disrespects our flag, he’s fired.”

The whole speech goes on for a bit, but that’s the important part. President Trump called for the NFL to fire players who protest. The mind boggles.

Just what the hell is going on here? Why the hell is sportsball so goddamned important that the duly elected leader of our country thinks it worth wasting breath?

It’s literally a mess of dudes in tights grabbing on each other and giving each other traumatic brain injuries. They get paid ridiculous amounts of money to do it. This is not a matter of national importance. North Korea just threatened to nuke us for the billionth time. Iran is apparently testing their own ballistic missiles.

I get there’s some value in forgetting that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, but why is sportsball at the forefront of a national political debate? Why are we yelling at each other over it? Why is the President giving speeches about it?

Why in the hemorrhaging fuck are we talking about this without someone bringing me a beer?

It’s simple: watch your game. If this player or that player decides they want to protest, so long as their protest doesn’t involve shoving electrified bits of steel down your pee-hole, they’re not hurting you. They’re exercising their constitutional right, and they’re using the platform available to them to make their voices heard.

By all means, debate whether or not you think they’re protesting for a worthy cause, but this isn’t something to get riled up over. This isn’t something the goddamned President should be speechifying on. And this sure as hell isn’t something you should be blasting all over my newsfeed.

Not unless you’re going to bring me beer first, that is.




Kevin Wilson is an artilleryman in the North Carolina National Guard. His hobbies include reading, writing, and looking down on Star Trek fans. He also enjoys whiskey and long walks on the beach, so long as they don't actually involve long walks or beaches. You can follow him on Twitter @gatling216 but we really wouldn't advise it.

Unapologetically American Copyright 2014. UA is a brand of Ranger Up, and damn proud of it.